Feeling guilty, needing some peace, and cold mornings...

I'm sitting here this morning listening to only some small noise from the TV in the living room. No fighting, no screaming, and no one jumping through the house. I'm feeling guilty for enjoying a quiet morning after so many insane ones but we deserve to have some peace in this house. I just waved goodbye to Lisa, Jillian, Sara, and Chase...as they left off for their 9-10 hour drive to Ohio. Chase caught a ride with Lisa so that he can go to Nanny & Papa's house for 2 weeks. He is missing school, a dentist appointment, and a Boy Scout potluck dinner~but he will be able to spend time with family, while having some peace in getting some one on one attention from his grandparents.

(Ok, so NOW there is some screaming going on in the living room. I knew I should have kept my mouth closed!).....

The last few months have been rough on our family, on Chase, and on me...Our house is usually in chaos, and things are just not the way I envisioned our family life to be. I decided yesterday that after a morning meltdown and temper tantrum from Chase, that maybe it was time to take a time out as a mother. I asked Lisa first, if Chase could ride home to Ohio with her so that he could stay with my mom and dad for 2 weeks. Jason is in SC in a training class for work, so he will drive through Ohio on his way home and pick Chase up. My next phone call was to Dr. Pam, our behavioral therapist, who in my eyes has become like a good friend to me. She agreed that it was a good idea for Chase to have a break from mom and for mom to have a break from Chase. I knew that even more than anyone else, her opinion meant whether I let him go or kept him home. She knows whats best for him, right next to me~and over the last 3 years I have come to trust her.

Jason and I have gone above and beyond when it comes to making sure that our kids have what they need, and that they know how much we love them. I am praying that in the next 2 weeks I will be able to have some full nights of sleep, as Chase usually comes in my bed 2-3times a night, that I can bond with Tanner and Mackenzie more, and that I can get some rules put into place for our household. Things here have gone by the seat of my pants for too long. I have made rule after rule, and then bent them so that I can accomodate Chase's feelings and his lack of ability to cope with life sometimes. He has crossed the line with his temper tantrums, and he has to start over somewhere. I think that with him being away from home for 2 weeks, that he can get the one on one time he is longing for~and that when he comes home I will be recharged to start the battle again. I'm not so sure that Chase is suffering from just ODD and an immature emotional ability, but that he has a lot of 'learned' behaviors that need to be broken.

With all that said, I am crawling back into my "queens bed" that my sweetheart bought for me...God he takes such good care of me, but I just want him back home with us...That's the next mountain to tackle for Jason & I, but that's for tomorrow's blog...

The picture below speaks volumes on what Jason is willing to do for our kids. He climbed up a tree at the pumpkin patch to get Chase one of the candy bags that was dropped from an overhead airplane for the kids down below. Chase saw this one in a tree, and asked Jason if he could get it down for him. And as you can see, Chase is anxiously waiting at the bottom of the tree for his treasure...

The dark/black spot at the top of the tree is Jason...